Friday, 12 February 2016 00:00

Zoolander 2 Featured

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Review written by Jon Patch with 2 paws out of 4

Zoolander 2

Paramount Pictures, Red Hour Films and Scott Rudin Productions present a PG-13, 102 minute, Comedy, directed by Ben Stiller, written by Stiller and Justin Theroux with a theater release date of February 12, 2016.

 

Man on the run well more like boy, Justin Bieber is running from killers, why well to kill him because he’s pretty. At his death he took the time for a selfie which led Valentina (Penelope Cruz) an old swimsuit model now Interpol Global Fashion Department officer to believe all these famous gorgeous people were killed for a reason. You think? In 2001 due to faulty construction Derek Zoolander’s (Ben Stiller) book building on the river crumbled killing his wife Matilda (Christine Taylor) but not Derek or Derek Jr. Later in 2006 Derek Jr. was taken away from Derek Sr. for being a bad father so at this time Derek Zoolander changed his name to Eric and went into seclusion in the extreme regions of New Jersey. That is until in present time Eric receives a special delivery from Billy Zane to attend a huge fashion show in Rome. At first Eric now Derek again thought not to attend but after a little coercion from Zane and the chance to find his son Derek Jr. Zoolander makes it a go.

Meanwhile in uncharted Malibu territory Hansel (Owen Wilson) has also gone into hiding, living with his orgy and wearing a mask due to his facial disfigurement from the Zoolander building collapse. Soon thereafter learning of his upcoming fatherhood and a delivery from Billy Zane he too is off to Rome. Both men come together in Rome and agree to recreate and launch their fashion careers once again. First stop a toxic dump fashion show with the famous All (Benedict Cumberbatch) but when they come across as thing 1 and thing 2, old and lame, they ended up all pruned in the end. But one thing came out of this show they got invited by the famous Alexanya Atoz (Kristen Wiig) to the IncrediBall event as the headliners. Why? Well your guess is as good as mine but hey I didn’t write this incredibly ridiculous somewhat funny but barely interesting story line. Valentina asked both men to help find her serial killer and in return she will use her powers to find Derek Jr. (Cyrus Arnold).

It turns out that Derek Jr. is living in an orphanage in Rome. Ironic? Well not really but more like a planned coincidence! When Derek goes to meet his son after so many years he finds out the Zoolander has become Fatlander although after some time together he discovers that Jr. is quite intelligent and also wanted by the killers. But why you may ask? Well during their time in Rome both Derek and Hansel are searching for who they are. When they learn of the story behind Adam and Eve and Steve, Steve being the first real super model, with the blood of a fashion God, Derek and Hansel hear that Derek Jr. is kidnapped. Why you may ask? It turns out that the killing of hot people has something to do with the Fountain of Youth and the chosen one! But why would they kidnap a fat not so pretty young Zoolander? Think about it! Once Mugatu (Will Ferrell) escapes from fashion prison everything comes to a head and the truth begins to unfold revealing some of the top designers in the world that have all come to one place only to find out that what they thought was going to be their fountain of youth was not quite that at all. Or was it? Sometimes in life in order to be pretty one must make a sacrifice to remain so and it doesn’t matter if you’re plus size or not. Either way the boys are back in town and rumor has it that plus size is in now, making true fashion hard to kill.

Ok so yes this film is truly Zoolander part two and even though I wasn’t a fan of part one I’m still not a fan of part two. The direction and writing is second to the score and actual cinematography along with some of the fashion in this film. I could not help but think how stupid this film was yet in some aspects I found some entertainment in it and I wasn’t using drugs or drunk on vodka. It has its moments and I’m sure many people will be making the Wet Blue Steel or Aqua Vitae faces after seeing this movie but for most with an ounce of intelligence I’m not sure you’ll actually like this film. I yawned, my feet hurt while I was sitting down and my stomach rumbled only making me realize that thankfully this film is not two hours. Overall if you’re in for a mindless 102 minutes of stupidity than by all means this film has your name all over it. Again thank God for a great score and cool scenery and some cameos. The cast is huge with way too many cameos to mention and I mean way too many that in my mind still doesn’t help this story. As for the main characters Stiller besides the fact he loses his accent at times does a nice job with Wilson as his sidekick who helps to carry this story line. Cruz was great to look at and definitely adds a bit more to keep this story alive. Ferrell is well Ferrell, not very different than many of his other roles. Overall this film is a poster of famous people and maybe that is why Stiller brought them all in to try to make this film successful but in my mind it has missed that mark and may be more worth a rental than movie ticket although the younger audience into today’s pop stars may think differently. Either way I think I gained more brain cells during this film since I surely didn’t waste any thinking about this story. During the happy ending it truly was a blessing from an angel.

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