The Bling Ring FeaturedWritten by Jon Patch
- font size decrease font size increase font size
American Zoetrope, NALA Films and Pathe’ Distribution present a 90 minute, R rated, crime, drama, based on actual events, directed by Sofia Coppola, written by Coppola and Nancy Jo Sales with a theater release date of June 21, 2013.
Flashback to one year earlier a young man, Marc (Israel Broussard) is attending a new school and treated as the odd man out until he befriends a young woman, Rebecca (Katie Chang) and from that point on his life is never the same. He meets Nicki (Emma Watson), Chloe (Claire Julien) and Sam (Taissa Farmiga) who all partake in a special extracurricular activity, robbing celebrity homes. Nicki and her sisters live at home with their mother Laurie (Leslie Mann) who starts off every day with a prayer and has no clue what her kids are into at night. Then again that would be most parents these days.
Marc’s parents, mother (Stacy Edwards) and father (Marc Coppola) I don’t even think they know he’s gay. I guess the eye for fashion and wearing of women’s high heels is no clue, let alone he has all girlfriends and no male friends to speak of. Marc’s love as in friendship is Rebecca and he tends to do whatever she wants be it rob from cars or from celebrity homes. He researches when celebrities such as Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Megan Fox or Rachel Bilson are out of town, Google’s their address then he and the girls break in, half the time the doors are even un-locked!
I guess the days of alarms and security in these big famous homes are not functional. Heck not even any dogs for protection other than Peter Pan, Hilton’s Chihuahua. Kids in search of money, jewelry, clothes and the thrill of breaking in all for that ultimate rush, alcohol, drugs and in their young warped minds, fame. It’s not until the police get involved do they realize that they may face, prison, jail and fines. Although with the court system comes paparazzi and for some it’s all worth it to have that camera in their face and to hear their names mentioned on news at five.
The film plays out almost in a documentary style with some bad lighting, mediocre settings, lost dialogue and sub-par acting but it does have a good soundtrack. Apparently it was a huge favor to add Marc Coppola to the script sad to say because he was just awful. Thankfully he only had a small part but even at that it still made the film look bad. If it weren’t for Watson and Mann the film would have imploded from the start. Grant it Broussard actually was somewhat enjoyable and helped to give the story a little life. Either way the film should have went straight to DVD and never even have touched the big screen. It is not the worst movie I’ve ever seen but it surely is in that category. There are lessons to be learned, parents need to keep a closer eye on what their kids are up to as much as possible and people with dogs think twice about those extra-large doggie doors, sometimes more than your dog may enter. Written and tolerated with one paw out of four by Jon Patch.